Julie and Julia have nothing to worry about....

I had intended to post a photo today and forgot. Apparently my subconscious sensed I would have a story to tell.

I do not like cooking. I am not good at cooking. In order to cook effectively, if you are using more than one pot/burner, there is an important skill that is required which I appear to lack. It's the ability to know LEFT from RIGHT. I kid. But only to a degree.

I was making a sausage and one of those packages of Lipton Three Cheese Noodles 'n Sauce (The Horror... I know). My right front burner, where the pot with the milk for the pasta was sitting, starts smoking. It had not been on more than a minute. Now, I am no Julia Child - or Julie Powell, for that matter (obviously, given I am eating mac and cheese from a package), but even I realize that is not a Good Thing. The sausage is on the left front burner.

I can't put the pasta pot on the back burner - it needs too much attention; the sausage, however, just needs to come to a fast boil and then be turned down to low for 15 minutes So I put it on the left front burner and move the sausage to the right back burner.

Which would be fine, were it not for the fact that I turned on the LEFT back burner. Which had a tea pot on it. Luckily I saved it and turned on the correct burner. Only then, the right back burner started smoking as well. Apparently, my right side burners need a wee bit of a cleaning.

After a good 3-5 minutes of the 'musical burners' game, I finally got it all sorted and was able to cook my dinner. Had to call my parents because I couldn't remember if, when the sausage came to a boil I was meant to turn it to medium or low. Of course, I get my dad because my mom is out.

Now, I love my dad. He is a caring, compassionate, give you the shirt off his back type guy. He just has one teeny, tiny flaw that drives me a tad bonkers. He does NOT know how to give a person a one word answer to a question. It is for him the phrase 'ask him what time it is and he will tell you how to make a watch' was invented. After much chatter that I admittedly ignored, I finally got the answer to my question, and my dinner turned out well.

I will say that whoever decided that you could get 4 servings out of a packet of Lipton Three Cheese pasta has likely never fed any Croatians, but that's another blog post...